I am in the final hours of the first draft of a sekrit project.
A super-duper, secret-squirrel, EYES_ONLY project.
I realio, trulio want to share this with you.
I am only an indentured servant, and...
My Squirrel Overlords will not allow it.
Disobedient grunts who unbutton their lips and spill the beans?
Those fools anger the Squirrel Overlords.
Angry Squirrel Overlords revoke all ident-cards, party passes, and anything resembling fun for their indentured servants.
Let me put this to you another way.
You know that wacky game,
Exploding Kittens? Well, it's like when you're playing that game, and you get a certain card. You know the one. ------>
That one right over there. ------>
So instead of grooving along in your lowly indentured servant with a working squirrel ident-card status, you are suddenly whisked out of your happy writing cave--BAM--and thrust into a place where you are irrevocably at the mercy of those infamous Sekrit Squirrel Overlords.
Is it a little clearer now?
I mean, at this point all I can do is bow to them and write as fast as I can.
Trust me, no one wants to be at the mercy of ANGRY Squirrel Overlords.
Not without a viable Sekrit Squirrel Ident-Card.
...which brings us right back to why I can't share the current W.I.P. with you.
The Overlords have deemed the project EYES ONLY.
And the only eyes they're letting in on this are their own, my trusty co-author's, and mine.
On pain of having my secret squirrel card removed if I crack, I must stay strong.
Is serious business.
Serious squirrel business.
On pain of punishment sooper sekrit serious squirrel business.
But don't worry. The party of the century, a.k.a. getting hints, sekrits and stuffs about the effing hilarity going down in this current W.I.P.---which by the way, I am expressly forbidden to speak of still---yeah, getting in on all that, plus a Sekrit Squirrel ident-card, some espresso, and various party favors, will be heading your way soon, my precious readers, soon.
Well, at least for them that's kept their beans buttoned up and not told tales out the side of their sekrit-killing pieholes.
Those as keep their beans where beans belong are invited. Given party hats and espresso. And this party is going to be THE party of the century.
So buckle up, babies. Hold on tight. Squint your eyes shut if you must.
I won't let the tiniest morsel slip.
Sekrit Squirrel Overlords see everything you know...
I promise, in the end, the party will be worth the price of admittance.
I triple pinky-promise on my sekrit squirrel ident-card.
Soon, my precious readers, soon.
Ciao for Now