Hello, and welcome to Tuesdays with Tian. I'd just like to take a moment to introduce everyone, and give a couple of general guidelines for y'all to follow. :)
First and foremost, you should know that Tian is mated to Lewell'yn. Lewell'yn is a bit scary. Please, please, be cautious in the tone you take with Tian. He is a little sweetheart, and will forgive you most anything, and the worst he might ever do is bake you some yucky biscuits, but hurting Tian... even if it's only his feelings, is liable to bring the wrath of Lewell'yn down on you and --geez, just don't go there. Okay?
Okay, so warning aside, enjoy the refreshments, and have fun hanging out with Tian. I've no idea what he has planned for today, but I do know he got some big news and is looking to share it. So, without further ado, here's Tian.
Tian: Hi everyone! Help yourselves to the brioche and tea. I thought, you know, since it's nearly tea-time here that I'd just do everything up like an old-fashioned English high-tea. *smiling shyly around the room* I'm sorry I can't get up to serve you, but feel free to help yourselves to anything on the buffet table. *nervous cough* No, no, I'm not fat. *giggle* I'm just very pregnant.
Kay: *popping head through the door* Tian, luv, the wee one and I'll keep the big tosser occupied so you can have your show, right? Just be sure to com me if you get twingy or light-headed again. I'd never forgive meself if something happened to you. Oh, shite, here he comes. *blowing kisses to Tian* I'm off then love. I'll keep our big brute distracted for as long as I can.
Tian: *blinking* Um, that was one of my consorts, Kayron. *Dreamy smile* He's a doctor, and he's the sweetest thing ever. Do you know, yesterday he brought home new seedlings for my herb garden? They were imported from Kyrth, and I've no idea how in the world he got them. They must have cost a fortune, but he just smiled and told me I owed him ten kisses for them and that was it.
*noise from off camera* Oh! Right, let's get back to the show. I'm interviewing Tommy from the Tate Pack today, and I want you all to give him a warm welcome!
Tommy struts onto the stage, hips switching, wearing a tight pair of BabyPhat jeans and a Dallas Cowboys jersey tied twink-style in a knot just over his belly button. His feet are encased in a sexy pair of silver pumps with six inch slim heels. The Nakntiian audience oooohs and aaahs at Tommys unusual and intriguing attire.
Tommy: Cameraboy *sexy grin* be sure to keep the camera on my left side, that's my good side. Actually, they're both my good side, but the left is better.
Tian attempts to rise to greet Tommy, makes it half-way off the couch and then falls back with a sheepish look.
Tommy: *arching a sleek brow at Tian* Girlfriend, don't you know when you have that much luggage someone else is supposed to carry it for you?
Tian: Tommy! *sputtering with laughter* You look wonderful. And Lewell'yn barely lets me walk around the castle anymore. I have to do some things on my own! It's so good to see you! I trust your trip was fine? Kay says we sent the very best transport available for you.
Tommy: Well, the spaceship landing in the middle of the ranch damn near spooked some of the horses, and Vet got all pissed off. Ton wouldn't let me bring any of my Lady Gaga cd's, cause he said spaceships don't play cd's *huffing with irritation* , so if you call that the best available, then yes. I hope you can play some Lady Gaga while I'm here. *flipping hair over shoulder* Because I can't be expected to go a day without listening to her highness.
Tian: *blinking* Oh. I'm so sorry, Tommy. I didn't know! Of course I can play some Lady Gaga. Um, do you want us to bring her here too?
Tommy: *screaming like a little girl at a Bieber concert and grabbing Tian's hand* OMG!! Can you really do that? I'd leave Ton for you if you can do that!
Tian: *looking slightly alarmed* Um, yes I can do that, but Tommy, I don't think... we're not tops!
Tommy: *rolling eyes, huffing and throwing hands out* Okay, so we can keep our guys around for sex, but you and I will be together because you brought me... *whispers reverently with hands upturned in supplication to the goddess* Lady Gaga.
Tian: *giggling* Tommy, you are so silly. I'll bring Lady Gaga if you promise to stay with Ton... he actually sent a message suggesting we have her here for you. So... *waving hands at side of the stage~~ the band strikes up a fanfare and Lady Gaga herself struts onto the stage*
Tommy: *jumping to his feet he stretches out his hands toward her. His lips move but no sound comes out. Turning to camera. Points to camera* Ton, you are so getting laid tonight! *Tommy dramatically lays the back of one hand across his forehead and swoons gracefully to the floor*
Tian: Oh, burnt brioches! Go to commercial! *an assistant rushes from off stage to hand Tian a slip of paper. Tian reads the note, wallows to his feet, and screams out* OMG!! I've been nominated for an Earth Award!!
Lady Gaga:*Lady Gaga waves band to silence* What's it for Sweetie?
Tian: *panting* OMG. Book of the Month at someplace called GoodReads! OMG I love old earth. I--*breaks off in shock as water gushes down his legs*
Tommy: *Tommy springs up from the floor, screaming* Not my Jimmy Choo's! *he leaps up on the closest chair, staring at the floor in horror. Lady Gaga ambles over to Tommy and pats him consolingly on the back*
Tian: *hitting Comlink.* Kay? *voice quavering* Kay? I think my water just broke...
This broadcast of Tuesdays with Tian has been called off due to reasons of Labor and Delivery. We'll be back soon to bring you the results of Tian's nomination and introduce you to the newest member of his family.Plus, as an extra bonus, we'll even finish out the interview with Tommy of The Tate Pack! In the meantime, feel free to listen to some Lady Gaga, think of Tommy, and go vote for Tian's Hero for New Author Book of the Month. http://tinyurl.com/VoteForTian