Let's Talk About...

well, sex, actually...

I've been thinking a lot lately about this (talking about sex, not about actual sex, although, yeah, that, too...I'm only human!) because my daughter is reaching that age -- probably already *at* that age -- where kids are not only thinking about it, but doing it. Also I ran across a great, thoughtful, helpful post that I think I failed to bookmark at Captain Awkward which talked about this topic, specifically, ways and resources for a parent wanting to start a conversation about sex with his teenage daughter, and I followed all the links and wishlisted books, and when my kids get home from my parents' next month, the Girl-child and I are going to have a sit-down and I am *dreading* it like you would not believe.

Which, to me, feels like a major disconnect, because I read romance, and it's not like romance is a strictly G-rated, no-sex-before-marriage deal anymore, even if I *did* cut my romance eyeteeth on the likes of Jane Austen, Georgette Heyer, and Betty Neels, where a mere kiss was nearly scandalous.

And so, one of the things that struck me is that, even in the contemporary het romances I still occasionally read (I'm weak, I know...), they never ever talk about sex, really. Maybe a sentence or two about protection, but usually not even that (because, HELLO Secret Baby!). But there's a little -- or a lot -- more discussion in the less heterosexual books I read, particularly as they get more and more away from vanilla sex, and more importantly, unless there's a Big Misunderstanding centered around sex, they talk about it other places, too. Sometimes it's like a book review -- what worked, what didn't, what could be different next time. But there is, at some point in the book, almost always a discussion about the sex.

And the truth is, that's making it SO MUCH EASIER for me to screw together my courage and talk to my daughter -- and eventually, my sons -- about the whole thing.

SO thanks for that, authors!