Sunday, July 31, 2011

Nearly There

Squee-Meep.

Just sent my first ever set of galley proofs in. I had until the third to get them done, but I was so damn excited I just finished them.

Nearly there. Last step for me before publication of my first book at MLR. I can't think of a word big enough to describe how thrilled I am.

Sweet Sunday Excerpt(s) are at LRC

Hey.

I've got a treat for you.

Not only do you get to see another excerpt from The Soldier & the State Trooper (which you might have seen here previously, but you might have missed), but you also get a chance to see excerpts from a ton of other fabulous authors.

Get yourself over to Love's Romance Cafe, and if you're not already a member, JOIN.

And then read to your heart's content.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveRomancesCafe/messages

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Saturday's take on Friday's Ouch: Turning it up to Eleven

Hey guys.

The ouch yesterday was my back, and it's rapidly getting bad today as well.

I can't sit for long enough to get the installment done...I'll try, when I get home from the AWAY cave to fix up the HOME cave so I can stand and write. If that works out, I should have something for you asap. If not, it may be a few days.

:(

So sorry.

Stinking discs won't stay where they should.

Eh, either way, I'll figure out something by tonight.

Josh, Ryan, and Simeon are impatient to spend some time with you.

By the way...who got the Spinal Tap reference?

Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday Flash Delay: Ouch

So sorry guys.

I had a little, erm, incident, and the Friday Flash is gonna be a day late.

I will try very hard to make sure the Flash is never ever late again.

It'll prolly happen sometime, but not anytime soon!

Fire & Ice's second installment will be up tomorrow.

Ready Steady Friday Five: Fabulous B/W pics of M/M Couples





Thursday, July 28, 2011

Think Tank Thursday: Wishes of the Heart

Today I was asked to name three wishes of my heart.

Easy-Peasy, right?

So, I'll give you mine, and you give me yours.
1) To become a published author.
2) To own my own home.
3) To take my daughter back to Europe for a visit.

Well, there's mine.
What are the first three that spring to the forefront of your mind?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Work in Progress Wednesday-Ice Cream Dream

An Unedited Excerpt From: The Soldier & the Shaman


Evans eyed the single drop of creamy white liquid running down the ridged surface of the waffle cone in Doc Bald Eagle’s big hand. It would be so easy to sneak a lick while he was distracted by Nikki’s long-winded tale of woe. Like taking candy from a baby. Simple as falling off a log. Heh.  
“Don’t even think about it Little Hawk.”
Damnit, how did the man do that? Evans tilted his head slightly to the side, glancing out of the corner of his eye. Sure enough, the big shaman’s eyes were trained on him like twin lasers. Shit. The guy was a freaky ice-cream hoarder. His tongue snaked out, luscious and pink, and swiped up the errant drop of vanilla goodness.
“You should share it with me Doc.”
The doctor arched one elegant brow at his young lover. So thought Evans, maybe that hadn’t been exactly the right approach.
“Please?”
A faint smile tipped the corners of the doctor’s lips up. Yes. Evans knew he was in. Once the doctor started to smile, even a little, he was putty. Warm, melty, been sitting in the sun putty. Evans turned the wattage on his smile up a notch, just to see if the ice-cream would melt faster. It didn’t, but Doc Bald-Eagle paused his efforts to catch the creamy liquid running down the side of his cone. His amber eyes were locked on Evans’s lips. The soldier smiled. Heh. He had the big guy right where he wanted him now. Puckering his lips, Evans leaned in closer. At the very last moment he dipped his head, stealing a tasty swipe of vanilla flavored heaven before surging up to share the cool, sweet taste with Doc Bald-Eagle.
“Little Hawk, I think you’re looking for a punishment.”
The gravelly sound of the big man’s voice told Evans that the doctor was far from unaffected by the little show. A satisfied smile bloomed. Bald-Eagle dropped the cone. Wrapping both arms around Evans he hefted the slighter man up against him in a searing full frontal press. A full body shudder shook Evans. God, the doc was so hot. He was the only man Evans had ever met who was so big he made the well muscled soldier feel slight. Well, except for his pal Collin’s mountain of a Norseman. Doc Bald-Eagle slid his hands under Evans’s ass.
“Oh Doc, yeah, just like that.”
Fuck ice-cream. The shit just melted and got sticky. Kinda like Evans was about to. Hot as it was he realized he’d rather do without the cold treat. Anything was alright as long as the good doctor kept his hands in contact with any part of Evans’s body. The big hands on his ass tightened, rocking him rhythmically against the unyielding firmness of Bald-Eagles muscular form.
Oh.
Oh god.
He was going to.
“Ah…”
Evans shivered and twitched for long moments, his body rising and falling in a steady rhythm. After a few eons of mindlessness, he felt his scattered wits slowly gathering themselves and limping back into his head. Evans blinked open his eyes to find the doctor looking down at him with an expression of complete smug amusement.
“Little Hawk, you owe me another cone. You’re racking up quite an ice-cream debt with me, you know.”
Evans nodded his head in agreement.
“I know. Every time I see your tongue come out from between those sexy fucking lips to lick up a stream of sweet, sticky, white liquid…I just lose it.”

Monday, July 25, 2011

Friday New Releases at MLR Press!

Friday New Releases at MLR Press!

Monday, Monday

No mania today.

Well, not really. Still a ton of stuff to get done, but mostly I just want you all to go here: http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/574808-cherie-noel-kiss-and-tell-7-25  read my story, and comment on it.

Go.

And like Nike says, just Do It.

In the meantime I'll be either writing my little fingers off, unpacking the chaos that is my house, attempting to get an appointment to register my kidlet in the new school district, or performing feats of derring-do as my superhero alter-ego, AwesomeSauce, the erotic author.

*smirks*

No, really.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Soldier & the State Trooper-Excerpt 2

Best. Dream. Ever. It had to be. Christie didn’t think this could possibly be happening to him in real life. Robert tasted spicy, like A-1 steak sauce, Caesar dressing, and something that was just him. Bold, warm, and exhilarating; the flavor made Christie shake just a little. He could spend hours just tasting this man.
Lack of oxygen finally forced him to remove his mouth from Robert’s. Christie blinked as he registered his tight grip on the larger man’s shoulders, and the firm, burning heat of Robert’s waist against his wrapped legs. He was doing a damned fine impression of a horny spider-monkey by clinging to Robert while grinding his rampant erection against the sexy trooper’s rock hard abs.
“How’d I get up here? When did you stand up?”
He must have sounded as bewildered as he felt. Robert was suddenly laughing so hard, the man could barely stand. The big trooper leaned against the side of the house right next to the sliding glass doors and brought their mouths back together.
Christie was pretty sure Robert’s tongue was trying to teach his the Paso Doble or some equally intricate and intense Latin dance. He writhed against Robert, their chests rubbing against one another. Christie moaned into Robert’s mouth. He slid his lips up along Robert’s jaw and quietly growled out a request directly into Robert’s ear. He was supremely conscious of the fact that too much noise would wake Frankie, calling a halt to all the adult fun currently going on.
“Inside.” Christie’s low growl reverberated against Robert’s firm chest. “Get inside. Naked. Get naked inside.”
Robert peeled Christie off his front and then pried the smaller man’s legs from around his waist. He set Christie down on his own feet. The man grinned like some cheesy cartoon character the whole time. He reached behind himself and pulled the sliders open. “Now there’s a plan I’m all for getting behind, Christie.”
Then his lips were where they belonged, back on Christie’s, and they were stumbling through the living room and into the bedroom. Robert paused then, his face serious and tender. He cupped Christie’s cheek in one big hand.
“Christie, are you sure about this? I don’t mind waiting…well, that’s a lie, I would mind, but I’ll wait if you need more time. I don’t want to take advantage.”
Christie grabbed the edges of Robert’s borrowed apron. Growling, he used it to swing the larger man around. Once he had his yummy trooper positioned, he shoved with all his strength. Robert fell back on the big antique German bed. He looked like a smorgasbord of hot Nordic fuckableness.
“Oh, hell no, Robert. Take advantage of me as many times as you want.”

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Satuday, at the cafe...

Well, at least for the moment. I've got a little blurb posted over at LRC http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveRomancesCafe/message/253828 so hop over, take a peek, check out all the coolness going on. Gotta run, ciao for now my lovelies! See you later from the library.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Friday Flash: Fire & Ice #1


What’s a lonely frost elemental to do when the nights get too cold and long? Simeon takes up pen and paper, drawing page after page of the two hot men he dreams about. Little does he realize that Josh and Ryan are as real as he is, and that the three of them are headed for a steamy collision of everything from hearts to minds to hands, lips and well, all parts south of the tops of their heads.



Fire & Ice

“Shit.”
Simeon watched the tail lights disappearing into the distance with a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. Carl was nice. He’d professed comfort with Simeon being a little on the cool side. They had several fun dates where they met up at the local ski-lodge, and then went cross-country skiing or snowmobiling. Simeon did everything in his power to hide his…differences.
He liked having a boyfriend. They’d only kissed a couple of times, and Carl started to push for more after the third date. Simeon thought he could hold it together, keep his power under wraps. He’d overestimated his control.
They had dinner, and then moved to the living room. Simeon put one of his favorite videos in. Will Ferrell was so funny in it. That was where things started to go wrong.
“Elf?”
Carl’s voice blew straight past disbelief to incredulity.
“Uh, yeah. I love this movie…don’t you think Will Ferrell is funny in it?”
Carl shook his head. It didn’t look like a negation so much as though he were trying to clear it.
“You actually want to watch Elf?”
Okay. Simeon was starting to get nervous now. Carl said that as if…there was something wrong with liking the movie.
“Uh…we can pick another movie instead. I just thought this one would be fun…and well, it’s my favorite so I wanted to share it with you.”
Carl blinked at him.
“Just how old are you Simeon?”
Crap. Simeon couldn’t lie, and he was pretty sure that either way he answered Carl wasn’t going to appreciate the information.
“I-uh-I’m 19. Sort of. Or 319.”
Simeon smiled weakly at Carl.
Carl blinked again, and got up from the couch with his jacket in hand. Patting Simeon on the shoulder he said, “Kid, you should probably call your counselor or whoever helps you get your meds adjusted. Clearly, it’s time to get them checked again. They can’t possibly be working.”
Then he was out the door.

*****

Warm lips kissed up each shoulder, one pair circling around to the front of his throat before moving up his jaw line toward his mouth. The second pair settled in at the juncture of his neck and shoulder on the left side, nipping and sucking and flat-out driving him insane. Simeon was burning up. He could feel the steam rising from his skin. He’d never felt like this before. A hot hand slid down his chest to tease along the crest of one hip. The further down it moved, the hotter it felt against his cool skin. By the time the long fingers and strong palm encircled the base of his diamond hard cock, Simeon was gasping with need.
“Please. Please.”
A low, dirty chuckle sounded in his ear.
“Why Ryan, I do believe our boy is trying to ask you for something.”
“You know Josh, I think you might be right.”
As the second voice spoke, the hand around Simeon’s phallus began to move, stroking him with firm, even, and purposeful strokes. The deliberate motion combined with the steadily growing heat pushed Simeon higher and higher in a vortex of desire until he was flung, shouting, from the highest precipice.
Simeon jerked awake, his throat raw and his sheets sticky.
This was the fifth time he’d dreamed about Josh and Ryan, their hot hands and hotter mouths roaming his body. He sat up in bed and reached for his sketch pad. A frisson of sorrow passed through him.
“If only they were real.”
He laughed at his own whimsical thoughts, and then turned back to his drawing. He’d gotten Josh’s lips right in the last attempt, but he still wasn’t satisfied with Ryan’s eyes. Sticking his tongue out to touch the corner of his lips, Simeon lost himself in the soothing motions of the colored pencils slipping over the page.
After a while, Simeon gave a grunt, throwing the sketchpad down with a grunt. Ryan’s eyes still weren’t right. The shape was better this time…but something was missing from the expression. They weren’t wild enough, or hot enough. Crap. He knew he could get it right if he had an actual person to draw from.
“Even a photo would help.”
The ringing of his doorbell shattered the early morning stillness.
Who could that be? Simeon racked his brain, but couldn’t think of anyone who had reason to show up at his house this early. He hadn’t even ordered anything from online. Maybe he should. The UPS guy was nice, and it gave him someone to talk to.
The buzzer sounded impatient this time.
Simeon fell out of bed, dragging his robe off the back of the closet door and shoving his sock clad feet into a fuzzy pair of snow white bunny slippers.
A heavy knocking started.
Simeon scampered down the hall, sliding to a breathless stop against the front door.
“J-just a minute.”
A rich, dark, smoky voice rolled through the door.
“I don’t care Josh. He needs us now. My father owes me a boon for what I did last Michaelmas, and I’m calling it in for this. We won’t get in trouble.”
A lighter tone rang out like the belling notes of a trombone played by a master. If he called out-
“Okay, Rye. Tell him to open the door before he freezes right to the floor. Geez, who ever heard of a frost elemental who couldn’t take the cold?”
A sharp smacking sound thudded through the door. Simeon stared at the thick wooden expanse with wide eyes. It couldn’t be. He. He’d dreamed them. His heart beat faster and faster until it felt as though it would leap from his chest, and he was gasping for air. Simeon flung the door open.
His vision narrowed to a black tunnel. At the far end he saw them framed in an oval of purest white, his Josh and Ryan. And now he knew exactly what he’d gotten wrong in the picture.
“Too cold—”

Fabulous Friday Five: Ready, Steady, Go







Yeah, I know that's six. But David Tennant is so fecking smexy I had to have him twice. Yummers. 

Be sure to check back later today for the first installment of my brand new reason to find Friday fabulous: Friday Flashtastic. 1000k of no fooling never published anywhere else, you can only get it here goodness. Now that's worth stopping back a time or two!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Think Tank Thursday: Are we there yet?

Today I checked the "Talent" page over at Mlr Press.

Oh. My. Fecking. Word.

I'm up there.

Big as life, and twice as pretty. Even if I do say so myself.

*grinning*

So, now...am I there? A really, truly, no fooling author?

Well, I believe you're an author the first time you pick up a pen or tap the keyboard to create a story simply because you...must. Like breathing. I think I was about four or five the first time I wrote because I had to.

Still, it's awfully nice to get the validation!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Work in Progress Wednesday-Two times the fun redux!!!

So, I lied.

Whoa, hold up.

No need to panic.

You're still getting a second excerpt.

Just not the one I though I was going to post.

Carol and Alessandro were strangely quiet today. Normally those two can NOT be silenced.

Today it was Evans and Doc Bald Eagle from the sequel to my upcoming release. The new story is called; The Soldier & the Shaman.

And here's a little sneaky-peak, hot off the, er, presses...and by presses I mean straight out of the swamp I laughingly call my mind, no editing, not even by moi. Be warned.

*****


Evans eyed the single drop of creamy white liquid running down the ridged surface of the waffle cone in Doc Bald Eagle’s big hand. It would be so easy to sneak a lick while he was distracted by Nikki’s long-winded tale of woe. Like taking candy from a baby. Simple as falling off a log. Heh.  
“Don’t even think about it Little Hawk.”
Damnit, how did the man do that? Evans tilted his head slightly to the side, glancing out of the corner of his eye. Sure enough, the big shaman’s eyes were trained on him like twin lasers. Shit. The guy was a freaky ice-cream hoarder. His tongue snaked out, luscious and pink, and swiped up the errant drop of vanilla goodness.
“You should share it with me Doc.”
The doctor arched one elegant brow at his young lover. So thought Evans, maybe that hadn’t been exactly the right approach.
“Please?”
A faint smile tipped the corners of the doctor’s lips up. Yes. Evans knew he was in. Once the doctor started to smile, even a little, he was putty. Warm, melty, been sitting in the sun putty. Evans turned the wattage on his smile up a notch, just to see if the ice-cream would melt faster. It didn’t, but Doc Bald-Eagle paused his efforts to catch the creamy liquid running down the side of his cone. His amber eyes were locked on Evans’s lips. The soldier smiled. Heh. He had the big guy right where he wanted him now. Puckering his lips, Evans leaned in closer. At the very last moment he dipped his head, stealing a tasty swipe of vanilla flavored heaven before surging up to share the cool, sweet taste with Doc Bald-Eagle.
“Little Hawk, I think you’re looking for a punishment.”
The gravelly sound of the big man’s voice told Evans that the doctor was far from unaffected by the little show. A satisfied smile bloomed. Bald-Eagle dropped the cone. Wrapping both arms around Evans he hefted the slighter man up against him in a searing full frontal press. A full body shudder shook Evans. God, the doc was so hot. He was the only man Evans had ever met who was so big he made the well muscled soldier feel slight. Well, except for his pal Collin’s mountain of a Norseman. Doc Bald-Eagle slid his hands under Evans’s ass.
“Oh Doc, yeah, just like that.”
Fuck ice-cream. The shit just melted and got sticky. Kinda like Evans was about to. Hot as it was he realized he’d rather do without the cold treat. Anything was alright as long as the good doctor kept his hands in contact with any part of Evans’s body. The big hands on his ass tightened, rocking him rhythmically against the unyielding firmness of Bald-Eagles muscular form.
Oh.
Oh god.
He was going to.
“Ah…”
Evans shivered and twitched for long moments, his body rising and falling in a steady rhythm. After a few eons of mindlessness, he felt his scattered wits slowly gathering themselves and limping back into his head. Evans blinked open his eyes to find the doctor looking down at him with an expression of complete smug amusement.
“Little Hawk, you owe me another cone. You’re racking up quite an ice-cream debt with me, you know.”
Evans nodded his head in agreement.
“I know. Every time I see your tongue come out from between those sexy fucking lips to lick up a stream of sweet, sticky, white liquid…I just lose it.”

Work in Progress Wednesday-Two times the fun!!

So, in honor of my impending release, I'm posting two excerpts today. The first will be from The Soldier & the State Trooper, my smexy M/M contemporary/paranormal novel coming out with Mlr Press by mid-August at the latest (according to the Goddess of Formatting).

Heh.

So, color me excited, and color you any shade of lucky duck you choose. Cause today you get an excerpt from that hot novel and your regular WIP Wednesday excerpt.

*grins*

Here you go. Let's join Christie and Robert!

Christie laughed nervously at the stunned expression on the handsome trooper’s face. It wasn’t the first time someone had taken a glance at him and mistaken him for a woman. It likely wouldn’t be the last. He made a valiant attempt to corral his careening thoughts.
His laughter trailed away when the state trooper resettled his uniform hat on his head. The action revealed the prominent bulge the man was sporting. Christie nervously licked his lips.
The trooper had obviously seen something he liked while Christie was bent over leaning into the back seat. Christie hoped he didn’t get angry about it now that he knew the person he’d gotten turned on by was a man.
“It’s okay officer. I get that a lot. I hated my name when I was younger. I was gonna change it, cause there’s already enough confusion over how I look. My mom really loved it though. I promised her I wouldn’t change it before she died.”
Christie glanced up at the trooper again. The flashing lights of his patrol car shone in the edges of Christie’s vision. He gestured in their direction.
“She was killed in a car wreck. Drunk driver. That’s why I hate the lights. Flashing. Umm, I won’t change my name. That’s what I meant. I keep it even though it causes me trouble sometimes. Once a guy didn’t believe I was a man until I actually showed him the goods…er, sorry. That’s probably not appropriate. I-I talk too much when I’m nervous. Umm. Could I have my ticket now? I really need to get to post.”
The man, Trooper Lindstrom according to his name badge, gave Christie what looked like a half-lustful/half-incredulous look as he handed over the ticket. He then briskly popped his mirrored shades back on, silently tipped the round brim of his beige hat and strode back to his car. Christie watched the man’s powerful looking thigh muscles bunch and release as he strode away.
After the trooper pulled out and around him, Christie sat for a few minutes, resting his hands on the steering wheel as he took slow, calming breaths. He tried biting his lip, but the pain wasn’t enough to put him back together this time. He let his mind wander to the gorgeous trooper who had just screwed any chance he had of getting to the base before 0900.
Christie must have mistaken that look.
It couldn’t have been lust.
The gorgeous trooper was probably straight.
What a waste.

****

The next excerpt will be coming a little later today, and will be a delicious scene from When in Rome...involving a very sexy shifter, his unwitting mate, and some quickly melting ice-cream...

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Another Triumph for Tuesday

O_o I'm on the "Upcoming Releases" page at MLR press.

Squee.
        Squee.
                  Squee.

Giddy with excitement!


Tueday Triumph

Okay, okay, I know it's a tiny little thing.

But when you're up to your eyebrows in packing boxes and having to reassemble just everything, finding the Tool Box is akin to finding the Holy Grail.

No.

Really.

So I found the box (not that one silly, heh, as if I could lose THAT one.) and that means I can clean the fan...which in turn facilitates the whole unpacking scenario.

Cool huh?

So, in honor of finding the right, er, tools, here's a pic of someone who sure looks like he knows how to swing...a hammer.

 

Monday, July 18, 2011

Manic Monday

Squee.

The Soldier and the State Trooper is about to go to Formatting.

Squee.

Okay time to celebrate, even though I have about a zillion boxes to unpack still.

Yeah, I drew some of the inspiration for this one from my own life...cause that Dragon Soldier with the briliant green-eyed stare? Is moi.


Yes, he...(nom-nom-nom) was the inspiration for Robert.



And this pic helped me put them together...


Saturday, July 16, 2011

Saturday, in the Library...

Well, I had to escape for a few moments from the never-ending move.

Heh.

Actually, not that bad. Just taking longer than I expected. I have one room left to pack and move, and some cleaning to do.

Sigh.

Nearly there.

Here's something pretty to look at in the meantime!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thursday Think Tank: On Moving

Okay. Let's get to the goodies first!




You got two, cause with all the de-constrution, moving, and re-assembling of the Writing Cave going on yesterday, I didn't get to posting the daily man-candy. So two hot bits of lick-able-ness for y'all today!

On moving. 

It is exhilarating and terrifying. I get to re-invent my home, and hence to a degree, myself. 

Have I mentioned that I am a creature of habit? That I like my things just so? That moving makes me crazy? LOL. Well, take note of those things now.

Seriously, I have the best friends. They are by and large, stepping up to help when and as they can. I adore my fellow trouble makers--er--friends.

Have a great day y'all. I will.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tuesday Triumph

Okay, perhaps a wee bit early in the day to be triumphant...considering I've still got four more rooms to get packed up today...but hey, that's me, the eternal optimist. LOL.

And really?

If you woke up to this you'd be optimistic too!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Manic Monday

Ach!

Very Manic. Still Packing. Gah.
Well, here's a little something to ease the way...lol.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Work in Progress: Packing...heh.

So sorry, lovelies.

The only work I have in progress right now is packing to move.

Which is actually going surprisingly well, so I should be able to get it all done and get out in a timely fashion, even after the apartment is cleaned.

:( Sadly, that means not a lot in the way of fun and festivities for y'all until after the 15th...Well, how about this? I'll post an inspirational to my muse pic every day until normal daily posts resume. How does that sound? Here's today's pretty then.

And, since I'm packing today, I tried to pick a pic where the pretty was packing too...I'd say this hottie qualifies!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Fourth of July

Hey all. Today's not so manic as most Mondays.

Well, what did you expect? It is a holiday.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Hey, hey, it's Sweet Sunday--and that means Excerpts!

A little unedited nibble from my WIP, Jayne's Day Off. There will be more next week.
*waggles eyebrows*



Jayne’s Day Off

He really should have known better. Short little man with pointy ears showed up on the cusp of a new year, and offered to make his troubles a thing of the past.
Well.
It sounded like the opening line for one seriously bad joke. The kind you only laugh at when you’re already half drunk. One that starts something like: two guys walk into a bar...
Jayne Parlette was not having a good day. In fact, this was the 358th bad day he’d had in a row. Nearly a year’s worth of hell and decidedly non-auspicious happen-stance  followed that somewhat drunken decision to help the little fellow. He’d appeared to be in dire need of assistance.
Emphasis on appeared. Noted? Right then, moving on.
 It sounded like a good idea at the time. Unfortunately everything sounded good to Jayne after a drink and a half.
What?
Heh. So sue a guy for being gorgeous and a cheap date.
All Jayne remembered about that night was being told he had a year to get everything sorted. No fuss, no muss, and most especially, no freaking rush. It seemed like a god-send. So much time to fix the train wreck his life had become.
Who knew a year could fly by so quickly?
 Now, with seven more days to go before his grace period expired, Jayne still didn’t have any more idea of how to fix things than he did a year ago. Steven—his ex--was stalking me, Ruthie—his sister’s daughter—was still at risk, and he still couldn’t get the damned locals to acknowledge him as a male. Every one of the fuckers insisted on calling him ma’am. Jayne’s dentist would be set for life if it kept up much longer. He could retire off the money he extorted from Jayne to patch up all the damage grinding his teeth all day/everyday was doing.
 On top of all that, he had a weird little guy who was probably an actual leprechaun waiting in the wings to collect his payment. Waiting for Jayne to default on their deal. A deal Jayne was too blitzed to get in writing, and consequently was not so clear on the details of. He snorted as he picked up his coffee cup and swallowed the last mouthful of liquid love. Setting it in the sink, Jayne glanced at the clock on the wall. Shit. He was late already. He hurried out of the kitchen.
*Note to self: don’t sign anything after the second drink involving Bailey’s and crème de menthe Jayne my love, never, ever, ever!*
Jayne cast an apprehensive glance in the hallway mirror. At five foot six inches there would always be some height challenges to overcome, but it was nothing a good pair of platforms couldn’t fix. It was hell finding heels in an eleven wide however. The hair was good at least. Just past shoulder length, a wild mass of curls in black, reddish brown and dirty blond it framed Jayne’s oval face perfectly. It didn’t make sense to complain about shoe size when you had hair as good as this. The look of apprehension slid away to be replaced with a confident smirk. Today was the day. Jayne could just feel it. He finally had an interview with the local chieftain or whatever he was called. If the man would just acknowledge that Jayne was both a legal resident of the township and a person in need of police protection as well as a man, he could finally get Ruthie back in school. The home school routine might work for some families, but it was playing hell with Jayne and Ruthie’s relationship. A year ago they had a slightly strained uncle/niece thing going. Now, due to Steven’s stalking, Ruthie spent her days in a friendless, moping goth-girl funk, and Jayne hadn’t had sex with anyone but the hands twins, Righty and Lefty for longer than he cared to admit.    
*So two men walk into a bar; the first man has a gorgeous ass and a mass of wildly curly, to-die-for hair, the second man has a frowning face and a very small cock. They take a seat at the bar, and the first man says…*
The ringing of the phone startled Jayne into dropping the house-keys right as he stepped onto the front porch. That meant they fell through the two inch gap between the house and the porch. Steven had been too much of a penny pincher to get it fixed, mostly because it rarely affected him. He was far too large as well as far too self-important to crawl under the porch for any reason. Anytime he’d dropped his keys into that crack, Jayne had been the one to fetch them out. Whether he did it with one eye swollen shut was dependant on Steven’s mood, how fast Jayne ducked, and if anyone else was around to witness the altercation. Jayne snatched the old fashioned phone off its pedestal stand.
“Misty? Can I call you right back sweets? Yes, I dropped the keys under the porch again. Stop laughing. No. Stop-it!! I’m hanging up now…yes; I’ll call you from the car okay?”
A warm, rich baritone rumbled out behind Jayne.
 “Well, Seamus, I see what you meant about the arse on this one. It truly is a work of art!”
The back of Jayne’s head hit the underside of the porch with a resounding thunk. Seamus was the little fink who’d started all this mess nearly a year ago. Well, to be accurate, Steven the asshat had started it. Seamus the fink had finished it. Jayne the hot assed, as usual, got caught in the crossfire.  
Jayne scrambled out from under the porch, rubbing briskly at the newly formed lump on the back of his head. Sheesh! He’d thought such things part of his past when he took Seamus’s advice and kicked Steven the jerk to the curb. Evidently lumps and bumps were not so discriminating. The warm baritone poured over his still ringing ears again.
“Ach, it’s a fine thing the wee mon has such a lovely arse. He doesn’t seem to ha’ a lot of sense to go wi’ it.”
“Now yer Highness, I n’er said he was smart…just lovely. With the way yer Mam’s carrying on fer you ta pick a consort I thought ye might call our debt even if I showed ye this one…ah, what de ya say?”
Jayne grasped his keys and heaved frantically backward. He had to see who came with that gorgeous voice. And he had a thing or three to settle with the little pointy eared fellow who had thought it such a good idea to punish him for Steven’s bad behavior.
“You!”
Jayne and Seamus both turned startled eyes upon the third man. Jayne’s mouth dropped open and stayed that way until Seamus reached up and pushed on the underside of his jaw. The little man quirked a gingery brow at the prince and began to speak.
“Do ye be knowin’ the man yer Highness?”
A bright tide of red splashed across the prince’s cheeks. He nodded decisively. Jayne couldn’t help but be saddened that such an attractive man was completely cracked. He had never seen the tall, blond, and beautiful man before in his life. No matter how much he wished he had.
“Aye Seamus. He be my leannán cinniúint.”
The little man’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He snatched his hand away from Jayne. Then, shaking from tip to toe, he bowed to Jayne.

Friday, July 1, 2011